Gossip

I understand that blogging on the topic of “Gossip is bad” could be seen as the equivalent of calling Michael Jackson dead. Yes it is obvious, but still someone people might want to argue it. I think it could be beneficial to look at the topic more in-depth; gossip that is, not MJ’s would-be deceased status. Whenever you look at a one word topic it is best to try and clearly define it first. Even if you don’t agree with the definition, it is a place to start. 

gossip |ˈgäsəp|

noun

casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true : he became the subject of much local gossip.

• chiefly derogatory a person who likes talking about other people's private lives.

I don’t know about you but I love to gossip. You might make a small comment that implies you know some juicy information on someone else’s personal business; “I wonder how long Jessica will be suspended for?” you might say. “What! Jessica was suspended? I didn’t know that.” says your coworker. And then the gossip commences. You knew every well that your coworker probably didn’t know, but it is so dramatic when you phrase it in a way the suggests that only an out-of-the-loop square wouldn’t already have this information. We have all done it. It seems so harmless. Telling people information that they will other wise hear anyway can’t hurt anyone. It won’t get Jessica reinstated if you hold your tongue. 

As I said at the beginning, let’s dig a little deeper. Let’s assume that Jessica was really suspended. When she comes back, no doubt someone (if not more) will ask her what she did to get suspended. It does not really matter what she did, she will probably feel similarly bad regardless in regards to the idea that people have been talking about her while she was gone. If she was late for the third time in a row, or if she spoke rudely to a costumer, I doubt it will encourage her to do better if she knows that her peers are talking about her behind her back. She was already disciplined and does not need extra punishment from people that work with or know her. It becomes one of those “What to get away?” moments. Whether the person you are gossiping about is from your church, school, or work it amounts to the same thing. They will want to get away from that situation and environment. Most of the time they will have little choice, and have to stay in that situation. Then it gets bad for everyone involved. 

That is pretty bad, but what happens if Jessica was not suspended, but maybe had to go on bereavement or had an emergency to take care of? Basically the gossip and rumors were false. What then? When Jessica gets back she will have to set the records straight. People might not believe her completely when she tries to explain why she was absent. People could think she was lying to save face. If all of her peers had never heard the rumor and Jessica came back with her story of what happened, few would question it. But if someone passed the idea around that she was suspended, it could taint the perception of Jessica’s character or professionalism. Also, she would have that same uncomfortable feeling one gets when you know people were talking bad about you. 

It sounds like a lose lose situation to me. Gossip might feel harmless at the time, but it can turn ugly later on. It is not anything new to say gossip is harmful, but I think it can’t hurt to remind ourselves of just how much we can negatively affect other people around us by what we say. Telling people of other’s misdeeds can give us a momentary boost to our egos, but in the long run it will only hurt others and eventually come back to bite us in the butt. It all comes back to pride, and our own insecurities. Can you suck it up and give people the benefit of the doubt and pass up the opportunity to bring someone else down? If you don’t have something interesting to say to your coworkers, schoolmates, or friends, don’t say anything at all. If you do feel compelled to talk, say things that build others up. It might conflict with your prideful sin nature, but God will bless those who bless others. If you don’t believe me, try doing it for a good period of time. It feels good to help others feel good. 

ALB