Culture, take it or leave it. Part 1

The idea of culture has been on my mind lately. I feel like my whole life I have been separated from it. Since I was young I had a hard time liking something just because the people around me liked it. I didn’t possess the skill that most kids my age had mastered; pretending to like something or convincing myself to like it just so I would be accepted into a group. If I didn’t like something I would stop doing it. I didn’t choose my activities based on who was doing it, but rather whether or not I enjoyed doing it. Example;

I liked to play chess in high school. I did not (in general) like the kids who played chess. I, along with the one person who I liked outside of playing chess started our schools first official chess club. It went like this. I was the best chess player in the school (not bragging, it’s just a fact) and everyone wanted to play me and try to beat me. I could never turn down a chance to beat someone and would always accept their challenge. Unfortunately, after the game the nerd would try to invite me to his magic the gathering romp in the town park they had every day. They would flail about casting spells and wearing chainmail vests that took literally years to make. They had foam swords and had some kind of code of honor and some other rules of engagement. I was not into it. Period. They assured me that I would enjoy it. I knew for a fact I would not. Back in grade school it was the same thing; kids running around playing terminator or Jurassic park. I didn’t get it. I have a limited imagination or something but since I was 5 I was more of a realistic kind of guy. I tried to play those games. But about 5 minutes into it, I would stop running around making retarded dinosaur noises, asking myself “is this it? Is there not something better I could be doing?” This gathering in the woods to smack each other with foam swords was the same thing; high school version. I am sure that if I played along I would have had “my group” in high school. I just couldn’t turn my back on my true feelings. I would have felt like I was selling out. Turning my back on who I really was. I didn’t want to live a lie.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure it was genuinely fun for those guys; the 6 year old version and the 15 year old version. The problem was that I didn't enjoy it, even though I was “meant to” because I stereotypically fell into the group of nerds. After I repeatedly turned them down on their magic woods game they eventually stopped asking me to come. I was not a part of their group because of it, but I didn’t really care at the time. Being rejected by the nerds does have some side effects though. At least I had the satisfaction of forcing their king into submission. Checkmate Gandalf! But it didn’t stop there. I loved to play basketball as well. When I turned down the bball jocks and their beer and pot I was excluded from their festivities just like their chainmail counterparts. If I didn’t subscribe to their groups activities it was hard for them to accept me. I understand that part of it could have been my attitude as well. But it was not like I was incapable of making and keeping friends. I literally had a least one friend from every stereotype group; even an emo lesbian. I was not afraid to accept people that shared my frustration in stereotypes (also you had to be smart and funny). But I never had a dedicated group that shared all of my interests. My interests were too random and intermixed. I liked acting, chess, basketball, history, cooking, speech, and baseball. But I didn’t like football, alcohol, drugs, dating, magic the gathering, or dances. Where does such a person fit? Basically I had my own culture and was unwilling to change it to conform to a group’s culture because I would miss the stuff I would have had to give up and would hate the things I would have to start doing.  

So how does this all fit in today? Should I conform? Should America conform to the world? Should the world conform to America? Should you seek refuge in a group of people? If so, how should you go about picking a group? Should you leave the group you are currently in? How much of yourself should you “give up”? How much of who you are is directly influenced by your current group? Is it possible to live outside of a culture and only be your true self? What would a life like that look like?

In my next few posts I will try to tackle some of these hard questions with my own opinion and thoughts. We can call this part one of many.